Mitsumete...

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 09:29:41 GMT

Untitled
Feat. Hongki and Jonghoon, references to past Wonbin and Hongki
R for fairly vague man-love, and oh god the angst.
Disclaimer: No profit, don’t own, for entertainment only
Notes: So this is the first real attempt I've made at a serious, post-worthy fic since I lost my muse... I hope it's at least tolerable X_X. It's also my first time writing FTI, but please don't expect much for keeping them in character, as this fic absolutely oozes angst. One more also, it's presently untitled, and so if anyone would be kind enough to offer up a few suggestions I'd be very grateful, and would put your name here in the notes with a word of thanks.

"I can't forget, because you're that kind of person."

- "Watashi wa Ame"

"How long are you going to stay there like that?" Jonghoon's words came in a whisper, his breath misting in the chilled morning air. The sky was dark, a steely grey despite the sun having risen only hours before, and already the dreary drizzle had made no sign of letting up any time soon, as if reflecting everything he knew Hongki held in his heart. His silhouette was striking, so beautiful in a way that tugged on the strings of Jonghoon's heart as he looked on at the other, there on the small balcony gripping the wrought iron rail, ignorant of the way the cold metal bit at his skin. Receiving no answer the guitarist stepped forward, a gentle hand coming to rest on the moistened fabric of Hongki's shirt hoping to offer him any comfort he could. Even just this much closer he could see the goosebumps on the older male's arms, hairs standing on end in protest to the cold, and he wondered exactly how long the vocalist had been there for before he'd woken up and found him.

"Hongki, please," he said softly, talent-blessed fingers slowly trailing down the other's back, almost able to feel the iced skin beneath through the fabric. "Please," he repeated again, his tone pleading. "You'll make yourself sick, standing out here." Though it was already well into March the weather had yet to yeild to spring, the snow only having just washed away, and he could only imagine the torment Hongki was putting his body through. "Hongki-" His voice was stronger now, demanding, and although reluctant, he was finally met with a response as the vocalist's head turned, the sight clenching his heart in an unrelenting vice. He wasn't sure what he'd expected, perhaps for the other to be crying, for even that would be better than the sheer heartbreak he found in the other's dark eyes.

"I'd like to stand out here for a bit longer, if I could..." Though having spoken only barely above a murmur, the detachment in Hongki's voice caused Jonghoon's breath to catch in his throat. He'd never seen the other in such a state before, and it overwhelmed him, bringing a burn to the back of his throat that he had to smother down as he shook his head.

"You can't," Jonghoon replied, his tone once again almost pleading, wishing the other could see what he was doing to himself; what he was doing to Jonghoon. "Look at you, Hongki- you're as pale as a ghost." His voice wavered as he spoke, gentle eyes entreating. "You've got to be frozen to the bone, by now." His hands shifted, coming to smooth over the older male's arms, frigid beneath his warm touch. "Please just come inside with me, just to the bedroom. You don't have to see anyone else if you don't want to, but please, just get out of the cold." His hands closed over the other's, gently pulling his grip away from the railing, relieved to feel no resistance. "Thank you," he breathed, and keeping the other close he began to lead him into his bedroom.

A shiver ran down Hongki's spine as the warmth of the room washed over him, the sudden temperature change making his skin prickle as if it was on fire, and the cool breeze from outside was almost welcome until the glass door was slid shut, sealing him in to endure the heat. His eyes followed Jonghoon's every move, silent as the guitarist left the room with a pained glance back at him. Only moments later he was returning, a thick white towel in hand as he stepped up before the other once more.

"I'll be amazed if you don't come down with the flu," he murmured, his voice low and soft as he began to dab at the vocalist's face with the towel. His hair was only just sticking to his face, small beads of moisture lingering at the ends of the strands to roll down his neck till they were absorbed into the cotton of his teeshirt. Just as tenderly he rubbed these away, patting him dry with a soft smile that he hoped was more reassuring than what he felt inside. He knew that anything he did would only just soothe the surface, but it made no difference when Hongki's true pain lingered far deeper in a place. He wished he could hate the person who had done this to his best friend, but he knew he'd never be able to bring himself to. The other guitarist had acted on what he thought was right in his heart, and Jonghoon could only be there to help keep what remained behind from crumbling once they'd said their goodbyes, for his and Hongki's words of parting had been far deeper rooted.

Jonghoon's eyes met Hongki's as he smoothed the towel over his damp hair, and for the second time he felt his breath catch. Though the vocalist was looking at him, he felt that his gaze was so far away, and he would've given anything in that moment to be able to bring back the warmth he'd seen in the other's eyes so many times before. He ached for one of his smiles, wide and toothy and shameless, slowly the towel slipped from his hand, falling to the floor with a dull thump. Slender fingers slid into the shorter male's long, unruly hair, and he could see the flicker of surprise in his gaze as he drew him forth. He cared not of how the moisture that clung to Hongki's clothes threatened to seep into his as well as he held him to close that they were nose to nose. His lips parted slightly, and Hongki's followed suit, his expression questioning but not refusing.

"Jonghoon-" he whispered, his voice as soft as the breeze outside, and before he could say more the guitarist had pulled him forward to cover his lips with his own. He couldn't recall how many times he'd thought of this, claiming Hongki's sweet, smiling lips as his own, only to have stood back and watched as Wonbin draped an arm about the gentle sloping curve of the vocalist's waist. He was gone now and he wanted to seize the opportunity as his own, but he knew the other was far from forgotten in Hongki's heart. He could feel the guilt resting as dead weight on the bottom of his stomach, unable to help but think that he was taking advantage of Hongki while he was in such a fragile state, but those feelings were abruptly shoved out of his mind as he felt the other's lips move against his own. His heart leapt, suddenly racing so fast that he was sure the other would feel it, but it didn't keep him from pulling the singer in closer to himself as those plush tiers parted beneath his own.

He wasn't sure how it had happened, his hands moving from Hongki's hair to the hem of his shirt, slipping beneath it to touch the still cool skin beneath. It was just as he would've imagined, soft and smooth and flawless, and a murmur of pleasure rumbled deep in his throat. He wanted to warm his skin with his touch, chase away every bit of chill that lingered, and soon the vocalist's shirt was bunching beneath his arms, an obstacle that was soon discarded to lay on the floor. Jonghoon's joining moments later. Still numb fingertips pressed into the taller male's shoulders as he fumbled with the fastenings of Hongki's jeans, each passing moment only growing more desperate till he'd finally pulled the button free, and he could only breathe his elder's name as he felt his mouth hot and moist upon his throat.

It seemed to only take seconds for the two to find themselves upon the bed, comforters plush and inviting, though not nearly inviting as each other's bodies as hands caught at undergarments unceremoniously, lips moving over skin haphazardly. Hongki's thighs were supple beneath his hands, and pliant as they parted to make way for him, his touch never straying from his body even as Jonghoon moved into position, and then they were pressing in hard, lacquered fingernails leaving dull crescent-moons in their wake. He could feel the desperation in Hongki's touch as their bodies moved together, and Jonghoon loved that feeling of being needed by the other, being the only one for him who could soothe the ache in his heart. The sounds that slipped from his lover's mouth were beautiful, moreso than even when he sang, breath-taking crescendos of pleasure that drew him closer till he could feel the heat gathering deep in the pit of his stomach. Feeling the other's body grip him, his hips jerked forward, lips parted in a silent moan as he heard very distinctly a whimper that made his heart wrench, as Wonbin's name was mewled in the vocalist's sweet voice.

It was all it took to send Jonghoon's fantasy crashing down around him, and he could only look at the other with wide eyes as he lay beneath him, beautiful features still fixed in pleasure. It was as if a bucket of ice water had been dumped over him, and slowly, he pulled away from the other, only able to get as far as onto his back. His legs felt boneless beneath him, and it made his eyes sting as all he wanted to do was get away from that moment. Vaguely he could hear as gradually Hongki's breathing settled, and then the shifting of the mattress as he crawled over, reaching off the bed for the towel that lay nearby. He only took a moment before offering the towel to the other, his gaze unreadable, though there was a flicker of something apologetic in his dark eyes that only made Jonghoon's heart ache, because he knew. Even so he accepted the towel, wiping away the remnants of the encounter as if it had never happened, if only it were so easy to wipe away the deep gouge in his heart. There was silence for a seemingly endless period of time as Hongki settled beneath the sheets, and Jonghoon could feel his gaze on him, unrelenting as he kept his own fixed up towards the ceiling. Distantly it seemed Hongki was moving once again, bringing the sheets up to cover him as well, but he couldn't bring himself to look at the other even as the older male's hand slid over his arm in some attempt at comforting him.

"Jonghoon-" he started, his voice cracking, but Jonghoon found himself sitting up almost mechanically, lips parting to speak of their own accord.

"No, it's okay," he heard himself saying, and then he was moving from the bed, reaching for his clothing and dressing quickly even though it was anything but okay. Looking over his shoulder once his shirt was in place, he offered Hongki a reassuring smile, the wound in his heart only getting deeper, the knife wedged in there twisting without sympathy. "So long as you feel better." He supposed he had let his heart get the better of him, cruelly deceiving him into thinking that somehow Hongki might feel anything for him when he was still so distraught over the loss of his last lover. He couldn't hold the blame on the other, when he in a way had taken advantage of his vulnerable state, and the thought made the tears prickle like glass in his eyes once again as he turned away. Heading to the door without looking back, he didn't see the same tears reflected in Hongki's eyes, his fingers balled into the sheets the draped over his body, silently begging him to stay.

We got Married!

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 04:42:18 GMT

The Romantic
Feat. HanKyung and YooChun
PG for man-romance
Disclaimer: No profit, don’t own, for entertainment only
Notes: This is the second installment of the We Got Married!Verse fics featuring Super Junior and this time with surprise guest, Micky YooChun of TVXQ!

Long fingers curled about the hem of the jacket draped about HanKyung’s slim figure, unconsciously tugging on the fabric in nervousness as he made his way up the path that would take him to his new “wife.” He had no idea who the person would be, neither LeeTeuk nor the producers had told him, and over and over again he’d run through in his mind which one of the members it would be. Already he’d pictured every possible scenario, with every possible man, at least a hundred times, and each one only seemed to be more and more awkward and uncomfortable. Doting over the pink-clad SungMin, coaxing his temper to settle so as to protect himself from this generation’s Bruce Lee, or being trapped in a house with the exuberant DongHae, sharing heart-warming words deep into the night about whether or not aliens were real… His nose wrinkled, furrowing just at the tip as he shook the thought from his head.

Those slow but steady footsteps came to a halt as HanKyung spotted a figure before him, tall and slim and handsome, and very familiar, though very much unexpected. It was a scenario he hadn’t pictured as YooChun seemed suddenly aware of his presence, dark eyes coming to rest upon him, a soft, unsure smile gracing his lips. He seemed like he’d just stepped out of a drama with a dash of deep red contrasting with the warm beige of his coat, the lead man that made all of the aunts watching swoon, and HanKyung could feel his heart begin to race as YooChun began to walk towards him. He didn’t seem surprised at all, as if he’d been expecting HanKyung, and as he approached the dancer he held out a single rose to him.

“It’s for you, HanKyung-shi,” he said, his voice a deep bass, and finally HanKyung returned to reality, having been lost in his own thoughts. Sheepishly he bowed his head, accepting the rose from the other. “Happy white day,” he heard as he peered into the swirl of crimson petals, and he knew at that moment that it was not him going to meet his “wife,” it was him going to meet his “husband.” Yet, strangely, that didn’t bother him as much as he thought it might, and he lifted his eyes to meet the other’s.

“Thank you, YooChun-shi,” he replied, his words soft in his shyness. He always felt insecure speaking in Korean in front of others. His band mates teased him often for it, though they’d known him long enough to understand his thick accent. Already thoughts began to form in his mind, picturing himself stumbling over his words and embarrassing himself in front of the other, perhaps even insulting him, but he found himself dragged from those thoughts as YooChun spoke once again, his deep voice commanding and impossible to ignore.

“This is sort of awkward,” he said, eyes crinkling in the corners as he chuckled nervously, and it made HanKyung feel a little better, knowing that he wasn’t the only one put out of his element.

“It is,” HanKyung agreed, lips parting in his own awkward, yet very endearing smile, and he found himself chuckling as well. Soon they were both laughing; at what, they weren’t exactly sure, but it was pleasant nonetheless and the smiles lingered even as their laughter settled.

“Well then,” YooChun started, a hand raising to rub at his hair, very soft looking hair, HanKyung thought, as he watched the man’s fingers slip through those warm chestnut strands. “There’s a bakery nearby that’s really nice, let’s go there before going to our new home, nae?” he suggested, and HanKyung nodded, the couple coming together naturally side by side as they began to head back down the path. Each time the wind blew, it seemed to carry the scent of the singer’s cologne, a sweet yet spicy scent that mad the hairs on the back of HanKyung’s neck stand up, and he found himself leaning into the warmth that radiated from the other, fingers curling into the hem of his jacket once again, his heart beating harder than before.

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 19:14:20 GMT

Heartbreaking Words
Feat. Typhoon/Jay Kim and HeeChul
PG-13 for GOJIRA angst
Disclaimer: Don’t own, no profit, for entertainment only
Notes: Written for any TaeHee-shippers out there, anyone who’s ever had a break-up, and anyone who likes reading angst. <3 Short, only 542 words.

It felt as if hours had gone by, time dripping slowly like the raindrops down the windowpane, and hardly a sentence had been scribbled onto the paper that lay before Jay, his pen touching the smooth surface but not moving. He didn’t know how it was possible for words to fail him when his heart seemed to be full of them, syllables and vowels and consonants all stringing together into things he wished he had said. Things he should have said, sentences that he couldn’t put down on paper even though they ran through his mind at night as his lover’s silhouette haunted him at night. Or, perhaps, his former lover, the man he’d spent years waking up next to, years holding when things got tough, years loving selflessly, though, perhaps he’d never showed the other this.

A symbol of one of the few words written began to blur, the ink swirling in a small dollop of moisture, soon followed by another, and then another until all at once Jay seized the paper in his hand, pen cast aside as he ground the paper mercilessly in his fist. His throat ached as tears left burning trails in their wake, and slowly, his head lowered as a single name slipped past his lips.

“HeeChul…”

It had been nearly a year since the older man had left, clutching a suitcase in his delicate hand, his hair falling into his face and for once not bothering to push it out of the way. Soft tremors ran though his slender body, Jay had seen them from across the kitchen, and though his fingers tightened, itching to pull HeeChul into an embrace, he hadn’t dared to move forward. The man’s words had been cold and straight-forward, leaving what seemed to be no room for argument.

”I can’t live like this, Jay.”

With a shaking hand Jay reached desperately for his cigarettes, the brand he’d never stopped smoking despite how the aroma reminded him of HeeChul every time he exhaled. It was a sort of comfort to him as the smoke filled his lungs, almost as if it held the essence of his ex and allowed him to experience the taste of him one more time. With his free hand he began to wipe his tears away, having always hated for HeeChul to see him in his weakest moments, and he sniffed back any more tears that might linger about his eyelashes, threatening to escape.

The scrape of his chair as he moved away from the table seemed deafening in the near silence, soon soothed by the soft, steady pit-pat of rain. He turned, his hand hesitant before resting against the cool glass of the window, a soft fog gathering about his fingertips. It was as if the sky was crying for him, for every time he hadn’t let himself, and a heart-breaking smile curled the corners of his lips as he took another drag of his cigarette, wondering if maybe the sky was crying for HeeChul as well.

Super Junior M fanfic

Fri, 16 May 2008 15:18:04 GMT

At Least There’s Still You
Feat. HanKyung and Henry, HanKyung x Henry if you want, but not necessary
PG-13 for ANGST
Disclaimer: Don’t own, no profit, I wish I did, and that there was.
Notes: This was written for fifteen_half who has been supporting my recent writing endeavors with her awh-worthy comments. I hope you enjoy it~!

It was another night spent alone for Henry, another night declining his band mates’ request to join him in their celebrations after another successful live performance. He’d given them every excuse known to man, he was sure he’d begin to run out soon, and then what would he tell them? Dark eyes seemed transfixed as a warm fog spread from the tips of his fingers to circle about the digits he’d pressed to the cool glass of the window. Though he was the youngest member of the group, he didn’t want to feel childish; he wanted to be a man, and handle every burden his career brought him, as he’d vowed to the day he’d been brought to Korea. The loneliness, he’d endured, the homesickness, the alienation… All without a complaint. It had all hurt, of course, but it wasn’t until his debut that he’d known true heartbreak.
Henry’s gaze shifted, peering past the glass at the array of neon lights that illuminated the city below him. In the day, the architecture seemed so welcoming, and it filled him with a sense of pride. At night, the lights seemed to all glare in his direction, harsh in their beauty, as if they were all telling him that no matter how hard he tried, he just wasn’t wanted there. Opinions were easy to form and hard to change, and they’d been fixed against him the moment he’d picked up his violin for Super Junior. He could feel that familiar stinging in his eyes, a warm burn low in his throat, and his fingers clenched, balling into a fist as he let his forehead rest against the window, hoping it would soothe the feverish ache that had settled within him.
Oblivious to the soft creak of the door, the tears began to course down his cheeks, leaving hot trails of lingering moisture in their wake. They seemed to scorch his skin, though the flow was relentless, and it was all he could do to clench his eyes shut. A bang rang out as his fist slammed against the resistant glass, and then he was sobbing. His whole body was shaking, his knees threatening to give out beneath him, but he refused. He hated admitting how weak he truly was, how every night spent alone was spent in tears, how even the lights of the city seemed to echo the cries of the crowd with their heart-wrenching chant.

”Only thirteen…”

He didn’t know how Zhou Mi endured it, and that was surely another sign of exactly how pathetic he was. Zhou Mi seemed to always smile, as if their words just bounced right off of him, and he didn’t let their jeers isolate him from the rest of the group; he didn’t spend the night alone, crying his heart out, wishing he could turn out every light in the city as if that would maybe grant him some semblance of peace.
“Henry…” a soft voice chimed, and Henry’s eyes shot open, widening as he recognized that silhouette in the glass.
“Gege-“ he choked out, his hands moving to his cheeks in an instant, hurriedly wiping away his tears, but he knew it was too late then. “S-Shouldn’t you be with the others?” he asked, his eyes moving away from the other’s reflection. He was too embarrassed to turn and look at him, not wanting him to see him in such condition. He gave a hearty sniff, doing his best to hold back the tears that had already began to escape, and his hands had to raise again moments later to wipe his cheeks once more.
“I wanted to check on you,” came HanGeng’s reply. “And I’m glad I did…” He moved closer, stopping just behind the younger man, and calmly he placed a hand on the other’s back. He could remember the times LeeTeuk had come to comfort him when he was teased too much for his poor Korean, or during times when the anti-fan’s comments had become too much for him. Seeing Henry in such a state reminded him of himself, a young man in a foreign country, unable to communicate with those around him. His heart ached for Henry, his dark eyes pained as he took in the sight of the other. “Henry…” he started again, and finally the violinist looked up at him, his expression absolutely heartbreaking. HanGeng could feel that slight burn in the corners of his eyes, but he pushed those urges down, instead letting his hand slowly begin to move from Henry’s back to his cheek, and then his other hand was following suit, catching the other’s tears with his thumbs.
“I’m sorry, Gege…” Henry said, his words throaty and just above a whisper, and hearing those words, HanGeng’s eyes began to grow glassy.
“No, no, Henry…” he breathed, the pain in his heart almost unbearable. Someone as young, as sweet and kind-hearted as Henry, he never deserved any of this, not when all he was doing was trying to live out his dream. It was all anyone could want, and to be treated so cruelly for that, it simply wasn’t fair. “Don’t be sorry… Never be sorry for crying.” He hesitated for a moment, looking down at the other- and then he was pulling him in close, wrapping his arms about him. He and Henry weren’t particularly close, not as close as he knew RyeoWook or SungMin and the younger man were, but at that moment, his heart went out to him. He wished he’d been there for him more, but Henry didn’t seem to mind as he felt the younger man’s arms come up, hesitant as well before curling about him, fingertips pressing into his shoulders, his grasp becoming almost desperate.
“I hate this…” Henry choked out, finally sounding his age, just a tender teenager. “I hate crying, I want to be strong…” He was absolutely trembling, and his face came to rest upon the leader’s chest, burying his face in his shirt. HanGeng made no protests even as he felt the warm wetness begin to soak through to his skin.
“You have to let it out somehow, Henry… All of us, every single member has cried more than once. We won’t think anything less of you if you come to one of us.” The leader’s voice was low and soft, his tone comforting as he held the youngest member close. “You’re a member of this band, despite what some girls may say, and we’ll be here for you.” He fell silent then, listening to Henry’s soft sobs muffled into his chest, and he let his hand slowly move over the violinist’s back, the languid circles stroking away the sadness from Henry’s heart.
When finally Henry’s trembling had ceased, and no longer were rivers of tears running down his cheeks, HanGeng began to pull back, offering the other a soft smile. “Do you feel better now, Henry?” he asked, gently wiping away any lingering tears with the tips of his long fingers.
“Yes… Thank you…” he murmured, his shyness still evident in how he evaded HanGeng’s eyes. “I don’t think I could thank you enough…” The softest hint of a smile played about the corners of those plush lips, and the leader found it within him to chuckle softly.
“Well then… To thank me, you can clean yourself up and come over to my hotel room. We’ll all be waiting there, there’s a carton of take-out with your name on it.” His tone was playful, his dark eyes glittering, and finally Henry looked back up at him.
“Alright then,” came his reply, his smile sweet in its sheepishness. “Thank you again, gege…” He seemed to be debating something in his mind, peering at HanGeng offhandedly- and then he was leaning in, hugging the leader tightly once again. The older man couldn’t help but smile, taking Henry back into his arms as well.
“Anytime, didi…” HanGeng replied warmly, and he pressed a soft, lingering kiss into Henry’s hair. “Now,” he started, slowly pulling away. “Like I said, clean yourself up and come over, before KyuHyun eats all of your food, too, if he hasn’t already.” His smile was bright and contagious, and Henry found it easy to return the gesture.
“I’ll be over soon,” he said honestly, his eyes glittering with a certain fondness for his leader. His cheeks a warm pink- and he wasn’t sure if it was from his crying, or from the kiss HanGeng had bestowed upon him, but he waved gracefully towards the older man, watching him leave before moving to the bathroom to clean his face. With the promise of six band mates waiting for him to join them, it made it much easier to forget all of the coarse, harsh words and criticisms that have been thrown his way. It seemed worth it, all that he had gone through, to be performing with them… And if he could, he didn’t think he’d trade it for anything in the world.

Super Junior Trax Epik High Fanfic

Fri, 09 May 2008 13:39:06 GMT

Be part 2/2
Feat. Tablo and Henry/mentions of Jay Kim and HeeChul, with appearances from the rest of Epik High and Super Junior.
R-light NC-17
Disclaimer: So about Henry and that violin. And nudity. Yeah. That would be occurring while Tablo serenades me with a hawt rap.
Notes: This was written for angkoru after an amusing exchange of comments on my previous fic. <3 I hope you enjoy it, though it's not BloHyuk~!

Part One

After that evening, Henry stayed in close contact with Tablo, exchanging texts with him whenever he could find a free moment. His words were playful, their meetings comfortable, and it was HeeChul who first noted this. He and the violinist were in the studio, him watching as Henry moved so fluidly to the music that seemed to reverberate about the room. His skills were enviable, dancing seeming to come so naturally to him, and when he finally came to a stop and reached for his water bottle, HeeChul grinned.

“I bet Tablo likes it when you dance like that.”

Henry’s eyes widened, nearly choking on his water as it flooded his mouth, spilling past his lips to dribble onto his shirt. “Hyung!” he exclaimed in between coughs. “Don’t say things like that! Tablo and I are friends- normal friends, not like you and Jay.” Though his tone was reprimanding, he himself was smiling slightly even as he wiped the water from his face. It drew a laugh out of HeeChul though, the one he’d heard Jay say he hated so many times, but the older man always did it anyway.
“But I bet you could be,” he replied wickedly. Henry shook his head, merely brushing off the other’s words with a graceful movement of his hand. Though, he’d be lying if he said the thought didn’t linger in his mind.

Henry found it too ironic when that same night, he found himself locked out of his dorm room. The key he’d placed in his bag before heading to the studio had somehow gone missing, and he was sure HeeChul had some part to play in its sudden disappearance, as well as the disappearance of all the Super Junior members. Endlessly he’d knocked on both doors, hoping someone would answer, but after fifteen minutes he’d officially given up. As if on cue, he heard the familiar pinging of his cellphone, and quickly he fished it out of his bag.

HeeChul said you’d be getting home, you up for a movie at my place?

Henry wanted to frown, but he found himself replying, fingers moving over the keys.

Sure, do you mind if I use your shower? It’s a long story.

He pressed send, wondering how awkward that must seem. He and Tablo hadn’t been friends for very long at all, and yet he was asking to use his shower! But, he’d rather suffer that awkwardness than smell like sweat, especially if he was going to be hanging out with Tablo for any unknown amount of time. Moments later his phone pinged again.

Uh okay? I’ll be there soon.

True to his words, Tablo’s car pulled up in front of the dorm hardly more than ten minutes later. Henry rose to his feet, smiling offhandedly as he walked towards the vehicle. He climbed inside, placing his duffle bag on his lap, and he turned his eyes onto Tablo.
“I lost my key, and no one was home,” he explained right away. “Just my luck, huh?” He chuckled softly, reaching up to brush his hair out of his eyes. “I was at the studio all day, so please ignore my stink until we get to your house.” His smile was apologetic, but Tablo waved his words off with a chuckle of his own.
“It’s fine, you really don’t smell anyway.” He replied nonchalantly. “If you did, your ass would be walking.” He grinned playfully, putting his car into drive and taking off towards his apartment.

Henry couldn’t help but feel awkward as he stood there, naked, in Tablo’s bathroom. He could just barely make out his features through the misted mirror, and vaguely he wondered, did Tablo think about him? Surely, he thought about him, as they were close friends, but did he think about him. Did he wonder what his plush lips would feel like beneath his own, or-
Henry forced those thoughts out of his mind, as it simply wouldn’t do to be caught in such a predicament in only a towel. He was quite sure the fates had something against him though when he heard a knock on the door, and making sure his towel was well-tucked, he went to answer it. “Nae?” he said, opening the door to find Tablo there with an armful of clothes.
“Did you need anything to wear?” he asked, the clothes in his arm made of a soft, inviting-looking cotton, and amazingly casual. Henry had merely thought he’d be showering then putting his sweaty clothes back on, but this worked far better, although, he wondered briefly if it was too intimate. Oftentimes when Henry became lost in his thoughts, Tablo enjoyed rousing him from them with a teasing word or a warm laugh, but this time, he remained silent, and the violinist awoke from them on his own only to find the rapper in a similar state… Except that his eyes were directed towards Henry’s chest, as if he was taking in the smooth velvet that covered the hardened steel of his well-worked muscles. His body itself was a master of deceit, seeming almost delicate in the warm caramel of his skin and the flatness in his stomach, and then in the almost feminine curves of his waist, something his friends from Super Junior enjoyed teasing him about, but Tablo seemed to have nothing but interest in them.
“I’ll take them,” Henry said suddenly, feeling strangely exhilarated. His hips seemed to sway of their own account as he took that last step towards the other, bringing them very close as he took the clothes offered by the other.
“Kay, I’ll be in the living room waiting,” Tablo replied, his voice airy, as if his words were becoming lost somewhere between his throat and his lips. Henry could only smile, and he turned around, heading further into the bathroom once again. Once he heard the click of the bathroom door, he began to change, his thoughts and heart racing. Perhaps what HeeChul had said to him had held some truth within it, and the question now was what to do about it. Whether Henry should ignore it as if it were nothing, or accept such knowledge, he wasn’t sure. Pulling on Tablo’s shirt, he glanced in the mirror once again, the glass now clearer. The pants were low-slung, the shirt seeming to cling just so, just barely meeting the hem of his pants due to his superior height, but in the back of his mind, he thought that he’d never looked better.
He found Tablo on the couch, leaning forward on his knees, his cheeks flushed softly. From the doorway he watched him for a moment, taking in his frazzled demeanor, and then he was moving to lower himself down on the cushion beside the older man. “Hey,” he said softly, and Tablo lifted his head in surprise.
“Oh, hey, I’ve got the movie in,” he said with an uneasy smile, and rising to his feet, he shut off the light, dimming the room so only the bluish glow of the TV illuminated them. Returning to the couch, he picked up the remote and pressed play, a classic American film coming on. The small gestures Tablo did, they touched Henry, such as picking out a film in English so that he was able to watch it and enjoy it more thoroughly.
Henry could feel Tablo’s eyes on him often throughout the movie, but he didn’t dare glance his way, instead completely absorbing himself within the plot of the film. It seemed to end sooner than he’d expected though, and he was then left with nothing but to face the older man, so he turned to face him with a soft smile. “You have good taste,” he said, doing his best to remain casual and not let his shyness swallow him then. “I should text the guys though to see if they’re home yet, though…” He didn’t want to be imposing, though he wasn’t so sure Tablo would mind if he hung about.
As he began to text HeeChul, he wondered if perhaps the only reason Tablo was behaving so differently was because of what the older man had said. Perhaps it was all in Henry’s mind, and he was only noticing these things because he was thinking of them, and even wanted them. He sent his message, and a moment later, his phone pinged softly.

Yeah, we’re home now, but why end the night early? And you’re welcome.

Henry wrinkled his nose at that, putting his phone away. “HeeChul’s home, so, I guess I should get going…” His words trailed off, and he began to rise from the couch.
“Yeah…” came Tablo’s soft reply, and he began to stand as well. Henry followed close behind him as they made their way to the door, slinging his duffle bag over his shoulder, and he began to put his shoes on when he realized that Tablo was standing there, making no effort whatsoever to get his on.

“Blo?” Henry asked, standing straight. “You just gonna stand there or what?” His words were playful, though his heart was truthfully hammering away at his ribcage, his stomach twisting in nervousness, in expectation. Tablo shook his head, turning to face Henry. Slowly the violinist lowered his bag, looking at the older man in innocent confusion, deceiving of the thoughts that were playing through his mind- was Tablo going to kiss him?

“Henry, I-“ he started. “Listen… Chul told me you’d be stuck at the dorms, so that I could come pick you up.” The way he spoke, it was as if it were some huge secret he was revealing, though Henry had thought that in his heart that it was too much of a coincidence. He was sure there was more though, that this was only the tip of the iceberg, and the thought made his heart flutter. “This night was supposed to go differently, but I’m a coward…”

“Tablo, how so?” he asked, his voice soft, and it seemed to be quite the effort for the older man to look at him evenly.
“You’re a good friend of mine, Henry, but-“ he paused for a moment, faltering, faltering- “Aish-“ He moved forward, leaning in quickly until his lips were covering Henry’s. The violinist’s eyes widened, staring awkwardly for a moment before hesitantly letting his eyes close. He could feel Tablo relax as he found that he wasn’t pushed away, and instead he moved closer, a daring arm wrapping about Henry’s waist.

Letting his bag lower the rest of the way to the floor, completely letting go of it, Henry’s arms came up to drape over Tablo’s shoulders, bringing them almost chest to chest as their kiss grew hotter, moist and open-mouthed. An unbridled passion came over Henry, and he knew at that moment that he’d been waiting for this to happen since Tablo had first spoken to him, taking his breath away with that simple English. The rapper seemed to sense this, taste this, and his hands grew more bold. He let them slide down his back, and then up past the hem of Henry’s shirt, and unknowingly Henry let out a soft moan, his back arching into Tablo’s hands.

Having been so intent on leaving earlier, they soon found themselves in Tablo’s loft, shedding their clothing with the aid of each other’s hands. Henry’s eyes were tightly closed as Tablo’s hand gripped his smooth thigh tightly, bringing the supple limb up about his waist as his lips moved down the column of his neck. With every inhale he could catch the essence of sex and something that was distinctly Henry, lingering with the scent of his own soap- and he loved it. He had taken to mind that the violinist was young and never had done this before, his touches affectionate and soothing as he prepared him liberally for what was to come. Even so, it hurt, and Henry gasped painfully when he felt Tablo’s arousal inside of him. He could hear the rapper’s soft gasps of pleasure though, the curses and praises whispered as he waited for Henry to become accustomed to his girth, and when he did, Henry felt as if the breath had been ripped from his lungs the first time the older man thrusted into him. He was clawing at Tablo’s shoulders, clinging to him, thighs clenched tight and demanding about the older man once the pleasure began to wash over him. It was almost maddening, unlike anything Henry had ever known, and he couldn’t stem the moans of his lover’s name if he had wanted to. He writhed beneath him, the pleasure all at once becoming mind-blowing and overwhelming as he felt Tablo’s hand curl about him, stroking him to release with him.

Henry was left there, panting desperately against Tablo’s cheek as the light weight of the other covered him, the two of them shivering softly from the remnants of their release. Henry couldn’t help but feel strangely empty after something so amazing, but the feelings were quelled as the older man began to rain kisses upon his face and neck, “Henry…” he breathed between kisses. “I’ve wanted this for so long…” Distantly Henry could hear the cars as they passed, and the ticking of a nearby clock, and even the beating of his own heart, but Tablo’s words rang louder than any of those despite how softly they escaped the rapper’s lips. Henry couldn’t help but smile, catching Tablo’s cheeks in his hands, stilling him. No words were needed as his gaze met the others, his eyes dark and glittering in the streetlights that gleamed through the window. He really would have to thank HeeChul later, he noted in the back of his mind as he pressed his lips to Tablo’s sweetly.

Super Junior Trax Epik High fanfic

Wed, 07 May 2008 22:04:15 GMT

Be part 1/2
Feat. Tablo and Henry/mentions of Jay Kim and HeeChul, with appearances from the rest of Epik High and Super Junior.
PG13 for now
Disclaimer: So about Henry and that violin. And nudity. Yeah. That would be occurring while Tablo serenades me with a hawt rap.
Notes: This was written for angkoru after an amusing exchange of comments on my previous fic. <3 I hope you enjoy it, though it's not BloHyuk~!

Henry knew there had been something different about him the first time his eyes met Tablo’s. He could hear HeeChul beside him, the older man going on about something to Mithra, something the rapper had found humorous, because he could hear a pleasant lilt of laughter. It was a conversation he was included in, as his hyung had been insistent upon introducing him to his preferred company in the Korean entertainment industry in the form of a party thrown at the Super Junior dormitories, but he found that at that moment, words escaped him. He knew he was staring, and he knew he ought not to be staring, but as the charismatic front man flashed him that smile, it came so naturally to him to forget all about averting his eyes politely. He wasn’t sure what it was that demanded his attention so thoroughly- there was just something in Tablo’s eyes, and then, in the way he spoke to him.
“It’s nice to meet you, finally,” he said, and what struck Henry most was his use of nearly perfect English, his accent only highlighting his words. “My name is Tablo.” He likely would’ve continued staring at the older man until he felt a sharp elbow in his side, rousing him from his own mind, and the darkness of the rapper’s eyes.
“Don’t be rude, Henli!” HeeChul reprimanded, and Henry felt his cheeks grow very hot.
“Ah, mianhae…“ he said, his voice soft as he lowered his head.

He’d seen Tablo a few times after that, most often at parties after the award ceremonies Super Junior seemed to frequent. The glamour, it was almost overwhelming, and it kept him constantly worrying. What if he spilled something on his shirt? He couldn’t bear to embarrass himself in front of so many celebrities, he didn’t want to blacken the Super Junior name somehow- not to mention, the shirt he wore likely cost more than his violin. It wasn’t until one day that he’d walked into one of the dorms to see RyeoWook that Tablo made an effort to speak to him again, his presence a shocking one as Henry found him, Tukutz, and Mithra, as well as HeeChul, Jay Kim, and LeeTeuk sitting at the kitchen table.
“Henli, come sit down!” LeeTeuk called to him, the first to notice his presence, and once again, Henry felt the pink flush as it powdered his sweet cheeks as Tablo’s eyes came to rest upon him, his lips curled into a soft, almost unsure smile. Surely, he must’ve thought Henry hated him, or perhaps felt that way towards Henry, after their first awkward meeting.
“Ah, nae,” he replied in his halting Korean, and he moved to sit down at the table beside the band leader. He didn’t know why he was so nervous, it was a completely normal thing to hang out with your friends and tip back a few beers- he’d done it himself when he’d been in Canada quite a few times! But suddenly, surrounded by stars he ought to look up to, it seemed so foreign to him. His knees came together stiffly, his eyes lowered to the table as his hands rested in his lap.
“We were just talking about you,” HeeChul said then, and Henry looked up, watching as the older singer’s lips began to curl to one side in a smile that he was so well known for. “Tablo here was saying how he wanted to borrow you for a few of their songs, too!” Henry’s eyes widened, and his heart was beating so hard, he was sure LeeTeuk beside him could hear it. HeeChul’s smile grew, and he turned his gaze onto Tablo, his look knowing.
“Oh… R-really?” Henry choked out, attempting to seize this opportunity to redeem himself. If he could only get the words out, perhaps he’d be able to have a decent conversation with the musician he was beginning to admire so much. His feelings were innocent, he was sure, it was just that Tablo’s music seemed to speak to him. The meanings were deep, and here and there he’d catch a word in his native language, deepening to meaning to him.
“Yeah-“ Tablo started, seeming a bit caught off guard himself as he shot HeeChul a look that was unreadable to Henry. “You’re really amazing at the violin, it’d be a nice new sound for our music.” Slowly, plush lips began to warm and curl upwards in the corners, and Henry found himself speaking again, more comfortably this time.
‘I’d like that,” he said, and Tablo returned his smile.

Henry didn’t know how much time had passed, all seven of them laughing a little too hard at one of Mithra’s jokes, or listening to a nearly unbelievable account of something that had happened to Jay in Japan. Henry was quite content to sit there all night, his smile contagious as he felt for once that he was truly fitting in. It wasn’t until LeeTeuk had stood to get a beer that a silence fell over the group, a frown pulling his charming features.
“Guys, we’re out of beer,” he said, and at the moment, it seemed like the end of the world, though, from the redness of LeeTeuk’s cheeks, it really was.
“I’ll go run out to get more,” Tablo offered offhandedly. “I think I’m the most sober here.” And it was likely true, all except for in the case of Henry, who was still nursing his second bottle of alcohol. It seemed to be alright to the everyone, until HeeChul spoke up.
“Henli, go with him!” HeeChul interjected, his grin bright and fearsome. “You know where the store is, you can show him!” Henry wanted to protest, his face hot as he looked about at the few members of Super Junior who were there. LeeTeuk was, in short, gone, his playful eyes glazed, and HeeChul wasn’t far behind, half-draped in Jay’s lap. Looking to Tablo, he had no choice but to accept, and so he nodded.
“Alright, let me just grab my coat.”

It was only a little chilly out that evening, the wind gentle as it lifted their hair and brushed over their skin in a soft caress. Every now and then, Henry would dare to glance over at Tablo, the rapper seemingly oblivious of his wander eyes, fixated on the sidewalk. There silence was uncomfortable, the air between them filled with something Henry couldn’t quite put his thumb on. Softly he sighed, letting his eyes take in the deep navy sky, occasionally shielded by the yellow of a streetlight as they passed beneath the glow.
“You didn’t have to come along, I know the way,” Tablo said suddenly, his voice piercing through the still night. It always caused a certain warmth to wash over Henry when the older man spoke in English even in one of his songs, but when it was directed towards him, it made his stomach twist awkwardly.
“Should I have stayed home, then?” he asked tentatively.
“No…” came Tablo’s offhanded reply. “I’m just saying, you could’ve if you wanted to.” The silence between them lingered once again, until Tablo finally looked at him as well. “I just thought that you wouldn’t be interested in hanging around me. Whenever I try to talk to you, you ignore me…. Or something…” he added slowly, and Henry’s eyes widened.
“Ignore you?” he asked incredulously. “Tablo-shi-“
“Just Tablo,” the older man said, cutting off his words gently, and Henry couldn’t help but smile despite himself and the situation.
“Tablo-“ Henry started again in English. “I don’t feel that way at all, I just… Don’t know how to talk to you… I’m just some kid with bad Korean.” He chuckled weakly, a hand coming up to brush his hair away from his eyes.
“Well, that’s funny… Because I’m just some guy who speaks English.” A soft smile came to play about his lips as well.

Super Junior M fanfic

Mon, 05 May 2008 14:06:18 GMT

One - You are wandering through death (I'll save you...)
Feat. Henry x Mystery Member revealed through reading, SiHan
PG13 for mentionings of sex
Disclaimer: Don't own, if I did, Henry would be naked playing the violin for me at this moment.
Notes: I love Epik High. Also, I love my SujuMAN OTP <3. Also, I love you if you read this. The person who comments first gets to participate in naked eyebrow wrestling with me, SiWon style. One more also, this is the first time I've written in a looooong time, so I'm a bit rusty. Be gentle, plz? Haha~

I dedicate this to my Anae, who is my fellow pairing-shipper through and through.

“Does it have to be HanGeng?” The words curled in a hot breath about Henry’s ear, dark eyes piercing his own through the mirror before them. He could feel the older man’s body behind him, pressed in tight, the warmth he offered almost overwhelming against Henry’s back. He wanted to look away from the intimate sight, but the longing in the other’s eyes kept his gaze locked there, taking in the man’s slight form that seemed to meld so well with his own, but so differently from what his dreams were filled with. Plush lips parted as searching fingers slipped just beneath the hem of his shirt, searing the soft skin of his lower belly.

“Let me be here for you, Henry… Let me be the one who takes that sadness from your eyes…” Henry could feel the warmth of his words on his cheek then, the older man’s face very close to his own, lips just brushing that rounded curve as he spoke.

“But, without him-“ Henry started, though his words were soon cut off.

“And with him?” the other asked. “What do you have with him, other than friendship? You know very well that he-“
“Is in love with SiWon…” Henry finished, his voice very soft. He wasn’t ignorant of how the dancer’s eyes tended to lean towards the handsome man, nor how their touches lingered just moments longer than need be, and the warm smiles they would exchange. He would’ve given anything to be on the receiving end of one of those smiles, so that he might return it with one of his own. “I know…” he said, hardly above a whisper.

“If you know, then stop.” The man pulled away slightly, fixing his eyes on Henry’s once again in the mirror of their shared hotel room. “Every day I see your heart breaking, I watch as your spirit crumbles. You don’t know how much it hurts me, Henry.” He spoke almost desperately, eyes glassy, catching the light that spilled through the bathroom door onto where they stood. “Let me save you from that, Henry. I know I can…” His fingers slid across the young violinist’s stomach once again, tracing the lower curve of his navel. The words, the touch, it caused Henry’s heart to swell, a feeling he wanted to shy away from. He was saving himself for the Chinese man he felt so strongly for, clinging to what remained of his hope. Perhaps one day, any day, HanGeng would look his way, and if he gave into this man now, it could all be ruined.

“Let me love you, Henry… Like no one else can…”

The words were creeping into his mind, into his heart, and he wasn’t sure of what to do. He was only vaguely aware of those hot trails the man’s hand left behind on his stomach, the ache of his heart so strong it hurt, and he shifted slightly in the embrace. “I….” he started, his words trailing off as his gaze finally fell away from the other’s. They were so close, they seemed almost intertwined, besocked feet patterned with unfamiliar cartoon faces lingering with his own. His eyes lifted, finding the other man’s in the mirror once again, and all at once he was almost overwhelmed with the emotion he found there. It struck right through his heart. “DongHae-“ was all he could breath, and then a warm hand was on his cheek, guiding it gently.

“Henry...” DongHae murmured back, and then dark lashes were lowering, the older man’s handsome face disappearing in darkness as their lips met. Henry’s heart was beating madly, fluttering dangerously, and he felt lightheaded. It was all he could do to let himself be turned in the other’s embrace, his own hands coming up, clinging to DongHae with desperation, with need, because he needed him to fill that gradually growing hole in his heart. Lips parted, hands moving as DongHae pulled him closer, kissing him as if he needed him to live, to breathe, and Henry was returning it, their chests pressed together intimately.

That evening, Henry found himself in bed beside the older man. A protective arm lay draped about his waist, keeping him close even in his sleep as DongHae’s warm breath tickled over his neck with each slow exhale. He could feel his chest rising and falling against his side in time with his own, his skin very soft and a bit sticky from their endeavors, but it wasn’t particularly unpleasant. It wasn’t what he’d dreamed of his first time with a man being like, slow and romantic as the dancer’s body moved above his own. It was hot and full of passion, hands desperate to touch the other, taking in everything the other was hungrily. It was real, and even as Henry’s eyes began to close, he felt in the bottom of his heart that he was perhaps just waking up.

Super Junior Trax Fanfic

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 00:52:02 GMT

Presently Untitled (1/?) - The Introduction
Feat. HeeChul, Jay Kim/Typhoon, an original character for plot development, and many, many others from many bands.
PG for this edition- likely up to NC-17 'cause I'm a PARVART.
Disclaimer: Don't own, no profit, for rlz.
Notes: A School AU, done in a slightly different way. This should be fun. <3

HeeChul could remember the first time he'd seen him, standing there before the music store, the tips of his long fingers pressed to the glass as he gazed upon the array of musical instruments set up for display. He hadn't known anything about him then, other than that he wore the uniform of the nearby KyungGi highschool, he was apparently interested in music, and that he was the most handsome person HeeChul had ever seen in his life.

HeeChul could remember the first time he'd seen him, standing there before the music store, the tips of his long fingers pressed to the glass as he gazed upon the array of musical instruments set up for display. He hadn't known anything about him then, other than that he wore the uniform of the nearby KyungGi highschool, he was apparently interested in music, and that he was the most handsome person HeeChul had ever seen in his life. He wasn't sure what exactly it was about him that caught his attention, whether it be the slight upturn of his delicate lips, his tall, lean figure that bore that endearing awkwardness of those teenage years, or perhaps his slightly disheveled appearance that just seemed to scream bad boy; whatever it was, he'd managed to work his way into HeeChul's mind, and he'd been hard-pressed to squeeze him back out. Throughout the long walk home, the light fall breeze sweeping up his hair and sending his tie a-fluttering, he decided that he just simply had to get to know him better. He wasn't sure how he would do it, but he would find a way, for that was the way of Kim HeeChul, part-time rascal, full-time pretty boy.

Imagine his surprise when upon arriving home, he found that his cousin, Kim MinSik, had moved to the Seoul area, and would be attending KyungGi highschool from then on. It was as if the solution had fallen right into his lap- everyone always had told them that they looked alike... How many times had they been mistaken for twins? Would it be so wrong of him to take advantage of that fact? Afterall, all was fair in love and war!

"I can't believe we're doing this..." MinSik muttered as he worked on the buttons of his cousin's shirt, the material warm and smelling of the older boy. "What if we get caught?" He frowned as the wind picked up, the breeze causing the fabric to slip from his fingers, fumbling over the buttons. There they were, standing just beyond KyungGi High, hidden within an alley as they switched uniforms. Though he believed the idea was quite ludicrous, he couldn't help but admit as he peered into the small mirror HeeChul held up, working on his shirt again- with his hair styled as it was, he looked exactly like his cousin.
"We won't be," HeeChul replied, that familiar smirk curling his lips up to the side. "My plan is fool-proof. I mean really, I thought of it." MinSik could only sigh as HeeChul turned the mirror around to peer at himself, his free hand lifting to push his dark hair, so much like his cousin's, out of his eyes. "Mm... I look so good in this uniform..." he murmured to himself, flashing a bright smile at the mirror, and it was all MinSik could do to take the compact from him, snapping it closed.
"Yes, I'm sure you do," MinSik replied carelessly, slipping the compact into HeeChul's bag, which was now slung over his own shoulder. "More importantly though, you better remember your promise. I expect you to be here after school, so we can switch back, and then you're coming back to my house. I have a lot of chores to do- and by that, I mean you have a lot of chores to do." Very obviously not paying attention, HeeChul nodded, waving off the other's words.
"Yeah, okay, I need to be getting off to class though. I'm going to be late, and my lover boy is waiting for me~!" he chirped, reaching for cousin's bag and slinging it over his shoulder. He couldn't keep the smile from his face as he turned, trotting off towards the school- he had a big day ahead of him! MinSik shook his head, sighing softly. Though he was the younger of the two of them, he was sure he was the wiser. Hadn't HeeChul ever learned from movies that switching places never worked? They'd be caught, and it'd all end in drama drama drama, but he had to be realistic- there was no convincing HeeChul otherwise, and so he might as well just go along with it, and have as much fun with it as he could.

HeeChul loved it, how people whispered behind their hands as he passed by, their eyes lingering upon him. He didn't know why he hadn't thought of doing something like this earlier, it was quite fun being the new kid again! He felt like the center of attention, though he attributed that to not just his newness within the school, but also to the wonderfulness that was simply HeeChul- he couldn't blame them for being drawn to him, if he was someone else, he surely would be too! A grin lingered upon his full lips the whole way to his homeroom, even as he spoke to the teacher and was directed to his seat- at the moment, he loved teachers! As the door opened, though, that grin was wiped from HeeChul's lips, and he froze, rigid.

There he was.

That boy he had seen in front of the music store was there, in the same room as him, and then he was walking closer. HeeChul's eyes widened, his bright gaze fixed upon the stranger as he came closer, closer, but then the boy was passing him, moving up the row to go sit at his desk. It took a moment for HeeChul to realize what just happened, and he blinked, glancing over his shoulder. He was even more amazing than he thought the first time he'd seen him- so quiet, mysterious, such a badass walking in just as the bell had rung... HeeChul could feel his cheeks growing warm, and he looked down at his desk, smiling to himself.

This would be his chance.

He would get that boy to notice him. He just had to. He wasn't going to waste the opportunity presented to him.

And so turning around once again, lips parting to make way for the words that were to come, ready to introduce himself to the other-

the announcements began to play, effeciently cutting off whatever he was about to say.

With a frown, he turned back around in his seat, now glaring hard at the desk before him. He'd never wish death upon a person, but oh how he wished the girl doing the announcements would just... trip... off of something very high at that moment.

The Writing Process

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 08:39:31 GMT

Started off as this-

With a smile that didn't reach your eyes,
You said you loved me,
And I, the fool, was drawn in.

With that promise you made so long ago,
I will move forward,
Even if these warm words no longer reach your heart.

The words you whispered still linger in my ear
And I'm here, searching for you.

With an impossible longing for you,
I've lost my way,
My heart seeking a love that has gone stale.

Random thoughts thrown together.

Ended as this-

"And in this world in which love is incapable of sin,
I find myself on an endless path, always circling,
Moving forward only with the words you whispered in my ear.
It's an impossible longing, a desire unfulfilled that gives my life meaning,
Nourishes me, destroys me.

Your words that were a puzzle, twisted around
And unintelligable, as if spoken by a foreign tongue,
I find hope within them and hold them as my lantern to guide my way
Through this winding labyrinth, casting away shadows
That speak of naiveté and deception.

A love that was spoken with a mona lisa smile,
A warmth that didn't reach your eyes, I was helpless,
A fool, drawn in; but with that promise you made so long ago,
I will move forward, even if those words no longer reach your heart.
Just smile at me once more."

Unfinished. Probably never will be. Disliked. Likely to be deleted.

No real meaning behind it, I was just listening to Pierrot, and Pierrot does that, hah.

DBSK TVXQ DBSG fanfic

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 13:26:05 GMT

Untitled as of yet
Feat. YunHo and JaeJoong (DBSK)
PG-13 for angst and mentions of sex
Disclaimer: Don't own, no profit, for rlz.
Notes: I had a snowday today, and I just found some inspiration in music, so I scribbled this up right quick. It's just a one-shot, but if people liked it enough, I could probably be convinced to write more JaeHo <3

The bitter chill of winter swept throughout the bedroom, curtains fluttering as JaeJoong stood at the open window, his fingers curled about the sill. His dark, entrancing eyes were focused outward to some point beyond anyone else's perceptions, looking at everything and yet nothing in particular at the same moment, all of Seoul laid out before him and coated in a sweet crystalline icing for his eyes to feast upon. It seemed as if all time had stopped, everything but the constant falling of snow that slowly accumulated and seemed to threaten to one day overtake the whole city, all the way up to JaeJoong's very high window. He could only hope that someday, that snow would pile high and spill into his window, overtaking him as well.

YunHo's fingers curled about the doorway as he watched the older man, his thick brows furrowed. When had things become this way? Since when did he have to fear JaeJoong, fear what he did to him, fear looking him in the eyes? His dark eyes traveled down the slim silhouette portrayed before him, still as a statue and more beautiful than any yet carved thusfar, and unable to control himself, he moved forward, besocked feet making no noise on the polished wooden floor. Coming behind the deceivingly delicate form, his hands lifted to rest on either side of JaeJoong's, and he leaned in over the man's shoulder. Even with the window opened, he could smell that distinct scent of sweat, of release, of sex, and it lingered in JaeJoong's hair and in his skin, sending the contents of YunHo's stomach swirling with jealousy. He wanted to say something about it, but the words died before they even reached his tongue.

It was like an unwritten law; they didn't speak of the encounters between them and other people. They were bound together in that way, and to break that pact would be almost sacrilegious. It would solidify emotions and that was something that YunHo himself had fought against. JaeJoong had been the one who'd built the bridge between them, extending himself out for him, but it was YunHo who had left those last few feet unbuilt, unattached to himself on the pretense that it would protect him from the feral singer. But as he inhaled that scent, imagined someone else's hands on JaeJoong's body, he knew that it had all been completely fabricated. One couldn't protect oneself from JaeJoong, and he was no exception. Just like every other poor soul who set their sights on him, he'd fallen for his allure, and now he found himself all caught up in a world he didn't understand, let alone ever wanted to be a part of in the first place.

His hands lowered, coming to rest upon JaeJoong's waist, and his head tilted in towards the other's till his lips were just brushing his elder's ear. He could never claim JaeJoong for his own, for the singer was full of a raw, white-hot passion that was beyond domestication by any man. His lips pursed, pressing into the dip behind JaeJoong's earlobe, and he could feel the man relax in his arms and press back into him. He wasn't worthy of taming JaeJoong, and he was afraid of what would happen if he tried, but he could erase the traces that anyone else had ever left on JaeJoong and replace them with his own. He just had to keep his gaze trained away...

Because he wasn't sure he could help falling in love with JaeJoong if their gazes ever met.

The Trax Super Junior Fanfic

Thu, 15 Mar 2007 13:04:23 GMT

"Clean"
Feat. HeeChul (Super Junior) with mentions of Typhoon/Jay Kim (Trax)
PG-13 for angst and self-love
Disclaimer: Don't own, no profit, for rlz.
Notes: Well, I'm late to my first class... But I had this rediculous urge to write that I couldn't pass up. To the Anae, who is my fellow TyChul 'shipper.

He could remember the first time he saw him, all long, lanky limbs held awkwardly, hands shoved in his pockets as a sheepish smile graced his cupid's bow of a lip. He had a hat tugged down low, dark eyes peeping out from just beneath it, and in a faint, but surprisingly deep voice, he said-

"Hi, my name is Jay Kim. What's yours?"

That had been so many years ago, HeeChul thought, and Jay had changed much since then. No longer was he the awkward teen, unsure of himself and his abilities, his tongue slipping into English every now and then simply out of habit. He'd gained several inches and his shoulders had broadened, his limbs no longer spindly, but instead built, strong and yet still lean. And when they met now, Jay no longer faultered over his words, intimated by the effeminate young man with the blazing glare and the mischevious smile. On the contrary, he took him into his arms with a warm smile, which would only widen at the soft kiss that was pressed to his cheek in greeting.

Perhaps that was something sharing a bed with someone would do to you... Small kisses and squeezes of the hand exchanged meant nothing other than a brief physical exchange of friendship, something so natural you'd hardly even notice you were doing it.

But what if with every soft brush of lips over the smoothness of your cheek, instead of brushing it off as a brotherly antic, your heart began to race?

Was that normal?

HeeChul had to question himself; when he was alone in the apartment he shared with his dear friends, why was it that his mind trailed off towards the now confident singer that Jay had become? One could say it was induced by loneliness, a pure craving to have the company of someone you considered a close friend... But HeeChul's mind strayed beyond that, and his skin would begin to warm as he closed his eyes and let his fingertips smooth over the skin of his thigh, imagining that the touch came from a hand much larger than his own, slightly rougher as well, but not at all demanding. And after his hand was soiled and his chest was left heaving, his skin crawled with self-disgust, knowing distinctly that if Jay knew the things he was thinking about him, he would turn away from him forever. It wasn't normal for a man to think such things about his best friend, he was sure of it. He shouldn't imagine the sweet curve of his lips on his own, nor the smooth plains of skin that hid strong muscle from his view beneath his fingertips, but whenever he was left alone...

Beads of moisture rolled down his back as he lathered up a washcloth, bringing it to his stomach to begin to scrub away the remains of his fantasy. The coarse fabric scraped his skin, causing it to redden angrily, but HeeChul only pressed harder. He was determined to scrub it all away, to cleanse his skin of this desire that had developed overtime without him even having noticed it...

He could only hope that maybe someday, he'd come out clean...

Super Junior Fanfic

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 18:21:50 GMT

"Pretending"
Feat. KiBum, LeeTeuk, and a surprise guest
PG-13 for vague hinting towards sex, and ANGST
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and I'm not profiting from this. Tis all just for fun.
Notes: Rather short, due to my current state of RIDICULOUS FATIGUE caused by my strep. I had some inspiration, and I had to get it out some way- so I did it by abusing poor Bummie.

"It's alright, LeeTeuk..." a soft voice murmured, muffled into the leader's silky throat. The older man's hair tickled at his forehead as he nuzzled him gently, soothing away the pain that harsh, demanding touches and meaningless words had left in LeeTeuk's warm heart. These were the only times that the leader came to him; when he was desperate, and needy, desiring nothing more than another's honest affection. And always, KiBum was willing to give him that, despite how it pained his own heart to participate in this game of love, further tangling himself in the web that had been spun between the three of them. But as slender fingers curled about the younger singer's shoulders, the tips pressing in just shy of painfully as he clung to him as if that man was the only thing keeping him alive, all of that pain was squeezed out of him for the moment, and in that moment, he could pretend that LeeTeuk was his own.

Gently KiBum pushed the older man away, just far enough so that his dark eyes might flicker over the frail form before him, the beautiful body that suffered abuses that were absolutely unimaginable to the young man. It was beyond him how someone could hurt such an angel as LeeTeuk, how anyone could treat him so carelessly. In the pale light cast upon the bed through a nearby window, he could see the dark bruises that curled around the leader's arms, marks of ownership, of possession, left there by another. Soundlessly he leaned down, pressing his soft lips to the purpled flesh of one arm, and then the other, as if that was able to wipe the marks from the other's skin, and restore it to its smooth, flawless glory once again.

A soft sound rolled deep in LeeTeuk's throat, almost a whimper, as KiBum's lips traveled over his skin, lightly pressing over every imperfection that had been left on him. His fingertips pressed more insistently into the younger man's shoulders, pulling him closer, craving that warmth that he never got from him. He knew that he was cruel to drag the other singer into this, to depend on him for affection that he could not honestly return, because his own heart was focused to intently upon another. It was cruel, but he needed it, he needed it like he needed him, the one who could make his heart race with a simple smile. His lips parted, a soft gasp escaping him as a warm, wet tongue slid over the blemish another's unforgiving teeth had left on his collarbone, and his head tilted back as he pulled KiBum impossibly closer to himself.

Some hours later, as the first traces of golden warmth began to creep across the sky, KiBum awoke to find nothing more than rumpled, soiled sheets beside him. It was as it was every night LeeTeuk came to him, and though he was sure that his heart should be steeled against such an occurrence, his eyes began to sting with all-too familiar tears. He did not have to look, for he knew very well where LeeTeuk had crept so silently to while he had been asleep. He knew that just beyond the next wall, it was KangIn who had LeeTeuk by his side, his strong arm curled about the leader's slender waist possessively, and once again he was left alone with the burden of forgetting...

...Until the next time the man came to him in the night, and he could pretend once more that it was he whom LeeTeuk's fragile heart belonged to.

Super Junior FanFic

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 14:57:58 GMT

A Single Moment - yet another drabble
Feat. SiWon (SuJu) x HanKyung (SuJu)
PG
Disclaimer: They only own each others hearts, AWH. But for real, no ownership by the me of the them, this is all just fiction...
Notes: I really fricken like SiHan. Like, a fricken lot.

There was nothing more breath-taking to SiWon than the sight of HanKyung dancing, and he often indulged in this, watching the chinese man shed his shy, unsure demeanor and instead adopt an enticing confidence as he swept across the floor with smooth, graceful movements. Once again, SiWon found himself standing just beyond the door to the dance studio, peeking in through the small glass window as his friend danced, all long, swaying limbs, something almost feline in how he moved so... sensually. He envied the others obvious talent, and he could only imagine all of the hard work HanKyung had very obviously put into perfecting this art- as HanKyung dancing could be called no such other thing than art, an art of the body.

Slowly, he pushed open the door, taking a step inside the mirrored room, and he softly closed it behind him, temporarily closing out the rest of the world as well. In moments like this, it was just HanKyung and himself, and nothing else in the world could compare. Hearing the click of the door, the chinese man looked up in the mirror, despite knowing already who it was. A soft smile came to grace his lips as he continued to move, his long, slender leg lifting almost obscenely high, and he watched in the mirror as the younger man's eyes moved over his body shamelessly. This happened several times a week; he would come here alone to dance, only to be later joined by SiWon, who would enter without a word and spend the rest of the evening watching him. They never spoke during these encounters, as if that would somehow break the magic they created together in the momentary privacy of the mirrored room.

Slowing to a stop, HanKyung lifted a deceivingly delicate hand to his forehead, carefully wiping away some of the moisture that made his skin glimmer. Not looking at SiWon, he moved towards the bottle of water he had set on the floor, not wasting any time in unscrewing the top and letting the cool, rejuvenating fluid flow past his lips and down his parched throat. He didn't have to look to know that the other singer was still watching him; he could feel his eyes on him, feel that deep, soulful gaze focused on his glistening throat, his head tilted back as he let the water cool his overheated body. Slowly, he pulled the bottle away, tilting back upright and screwing the top on once again before setting it upon the floor. As he turned, he let his eyes meet SiWon's for just a moment, flashing him a brief, yet warm smile before his attention focused upon the mirrors before him again.

His arm gracefully lifted, bowing just slightly in an elegant arc, and he let his short lashes fall to rest upon his cheeks as he leaned to the side, his other arm lifting to almost meet the other, before cutting through the air away, both hands following the movement. He jerked halfway through the movement, his thin wrist caught in a strong hand, and his lashes lifted so that he could peer into the mirror curiously. This was a new occurance; never before had SiWon stopped him during a performance, and seeing that intense gaze focused into his own through the mirror, an almost imperceptible shiver worked its way down his spine. His neck craned as he looked instead over his shoulder, wanting to see more clearly what it was the younger man was up to.

Looking up at SiWon, his lips parted in surprise as the other's hand slipped around his waist, pressing to his flat, muscled abdomen and pulling him closer till their bodies were pressed flush against each other. He didn't know who leaned in, who initiated it, but their lips soon met, silk against silk as they embraced. His hand lifted, long, thin fingers threading into SiWon's hair so that he might keep him close, not wanting the moment he had waited so long for to ever stop. He could feel the man's heart beating against his back, almost able to taste the silent desperation in the kiss. It was a moment SiWon had craved as well for far too long, a moment where there was nothing in the world beyond the mirrored walls, beyond HanKyung's lips.

Fricken awh SiHan.

Super Junior Fanfic

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 20:26:45 GMT

Unexpectedly XXX - A drabble
Feat. KiBum (Super Junior) x EeTeuk (Super Junior) with a one-sided KangTeuk
A rather HARD R
Disclaimer: No ownership by the me of the them.
Notes: Just a drabble, because I was bored and felt like writing some smut. Poor KangIn XD'

A soft groan hung in the air as KangIn's heavy form rose from the couch, deep depressions left in the cushions from his weight. His hand lifted, brushing through choppily cut ebony hair as his lips parted to make way for a yawn. Somewhere along the line, the young man had fallen asleep in the livingroom, which was now pitch black save for the dull, cold glow the television emitted. Dark eyes turned to the screen, taking in a moment of the sports show, before he reached for the remote and sank his finger into one of the buttons, cutting off all of the light in the room at once. An ache ran down his spine as he slowly rose from the couch, the springs creaking softly beneath him, and he stretched his strong arms high over his head before letting them fall to his sides and beginning his trek through the dark to the bedroom he shared with several of his bandmates.

Turning around a corner, he was surprised to see a streak of cold white falling across his path. It took a moment for his sleep-bogged mind to comprehend that the illuminant was no mysterious entity, nor anything even worth pondering over, but rather a sliver of light escaping from the bathroom door which had been left slightly ajar. This piqued his interest, and so curious to see who it was that would be up at this hour, he moved towards the room, pushing open the door just a bit so that he might get a peek. The florescent light burned his eyes which had grown almost accustomed to the dark, and he had to blink a few times before he could peer through that crack once again. A thick eyebrow quirked as he saw a delicate hand grasping at the smooth marble of the sink, fingers clenching around the polished surface, short, dull nails scratching, a very familiar head drooping down over the fixture. KangIn's eyes widened as he took in the state of the man that he knew so well, cheeks flushed, eyes clenched closed. A moment later, the man's lips were parting, releasing only a soft, shakey gasp. More curious than ever before, KangIn shifted, his hand lifting to push open the door a bit further when suddenly- he froze.

"EeTeuk..." a familiar voice breathed, though it was now low and husky, unlike he had ever heard it before. KangIn's eyes widened as the name that accompanied that voice clicked in his mind, and before he could stop himself, he was pushing the door open, standing in the doorway, dumbstruck with shock. Now the full scene was laid out before him, the image very quickly searing into his retinas and filling him with such an unimaginable and all-consuming jealousy. His hands clenched tight as he watched his very nude leader whimper in pleasure, his back arching as he pressed back onto the cock that was filling him so splendidly, throwing his head back as it seemed to hit just the right spot deep within him. KangIn was shaking with rage, rage and jealousy because the object of his all-too secret affection was being touched by another, fucked by someone who in his opinion didn't even deserve to see EeTeuk's beautiful face, soiling his wonderful, perfect hyung.

"KiBum..."

That filthy name fell from the eldest's sweet lips, and KangIn's gaze shifted, his glare filled with such a hatred fixing upon the man whom stood behind his EeTeuk, and he was quite surprised to see the younger man staring right back at him. A smirk curled those plush lips, in his deceivingly innocent eyes a look of taunting satisfaction, and leaning down, the young singer bit into EeTeuk's shoulder, his gaze never leaving KangIn's as he sucked hard enough to bruise the far skin, his own claim on the band leader. Unable to stand anymore, KangIn turned away, quickly brushing down he hallway towards his room. His stomach was churning, his mind full of only venemous thoughts and the horrific things he could do to the younger man, the devil that had stolen his EeTeuk away from him.

The Trax Super Junior fanfic

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 16:36:21 GMT

"HeeChul, the Music Lover"
Feat. Jay/Typhoon (The Trax) x HeeChul/Cinderella (Super Junior)
Porn. Straight up porn.
Disclaimer: Same as all the others~ No ownership, no money-making. Don't know 'em, hopefully will someday.
Notes: This has nothing to do with my other TyChul fic that I posted- I just really wanted some Typhoon-Cinderella porn. :D'

Thin lips parted, sweet words and notes flowing freely to linger in the enclosed recording box, fingers gripping at the headphones that were nestled in short, unruly raven tresses. Eyebrows furrowed, lashes lowered onto caramel cheeks in a look of complete concentration and focus, because as far as his voice was concerned, he was a perfectionist. Only the best- only the best for SM, for the band, for the fans. HeeChul always had loved watching Jay sing, because it was always so intense, so... arousing. He watched the younger man's fingers flex, clenching at the bits of plastic and foam that covered his ears, and he wished that those hands were gripping him, his thighs, pulling them apart and pressing their hips together.

HeeChul glanced about, making sure that no, no one else was in the room. JungMo and JungWoo had left for a lunch break minutes earlier, which left him alone in the recording studio with the object of his affection, of his lust. He was quick to turn those onyx eyes of his back upon Jay, not wanting to miss more than a minute of this. He had intended upon taking his dear friend out to lunch, but this, this was so much better. A delicate hand crept down, pressing into the front of his jeans, palm running down the growing bulge there. He knew that if Jay was to open his eyes, he would see him, see him touching himself in front of the soundboard, touching himself just to the look on Jay's face. And that turned him on that much more. HeeChul's other hand went to the wall, supporting himself as he deftly flicked open the button to his jeans, slid down the zipper, and slid his hand inside.

But soon, the song was fading to an end, and that erotic fear became much more than that. It became a reality, as Jay's lashes lifted, fluttering slightly as he pulled the headphones off of his head, setting them aside. He saw the look on HeeChul's face first, his eyes hooded, cheeks flushed, lower lip swollen as pearly whites dug into the plush flesh. It soon dawned on him as he took in the look of pleasure, the shuddering body and shaking thighs, and the almost imperceptible rocking of hips. HeeChul, his friend for years, the man that he knew so well, was touching himself, jerking himself off- right where he could see. And Jay knew, as their eyes locked, that HeeChul wanted him to see. He felt his cock harden as it never had for a woman, and suddenly, both males were moving towards the door that separated them. As soon as the door was open, Jay's hands were on HeeChul's hips, pulling him into the small, sound-proof box and pushing him against the wall, letting the door fall shut once again.

"Someone could've seen-" Jay murmured, hands running up the other's slender sides, feeling the subtle curves and delicate figure.

"Someone should've seen," HeeChul replied, arching away from the wall, pressing his lithe body into the taller man's, rubbing against him in a sensual, almost feline manner. He felt large hands grabbing at his hips, roughly pulling their lower bodies together, and he rocked his hips smoothly, giving hint as to what could come- if Jay wanted it.

"You're fucking crazy," the younger male growled, hands sliding around to cup HeeChul's ass, pulling him tighter against him. He wanted it, he wanted everything, to claim that slender, sinful body as his own, nudge those wicked thighs apart and thrust inside and be surrounded by that tight heat the other was practically teasing him with.

"You have no idea." HeeChul thread his fingers into Jay's hair, pulling him down into a kiss. He'd known all along that despite Jay's calm, cool exterior, inside there lay something hotter, ferocious in its passion, and he wanted that. He wanted to break apart that collected front and experience it for himself, experience everything that was the man before him. They had hardly been kissing for a second before HeeChul's tongue slid out, nudging along the part in the other's lips, beckoning him to taste him. And Jay was quick to respond, his tongue quickly meeting the other's, pushing past into his mouth and wasting no time in exploring the warm, sweet cavern. He searched out every dip and curve, every crevice, tasting him as their tongues slid across each other hotly. There was no hesitance in their moves, everything coming as naturally to them as if they'd been lovers for years, yet with a hunger, a desire that could only be characterized by a couple's first time.

Unsatisfied hands moved to the hem of HeeChul's shirt, pulling it up, breaking the kiss so that he could push it over his head and toss it to the side. HeeChul was quick to follow, working up Jay's shirt as well, and soon bare skin was pressed together, silk against smooth silk, hands exploring the newly revealed flesh. Everywhere Jay's fingers slid left a hot trail behind on the other's skin, and HeeChul arched, twisted, bent into the man's hands, because he needed more than anything to feel him. A gasp escaped him, head tilting back as the younger's lips found his throat, kissing, licking, suckling upon the bare, smooth column. His breath hitched as teeth scraped over the bump of cartilage in the front, before following his jawline up just beneath his ear. He felt as if he was being devoured by Jay, and it was so good, so deliriously good, he had to cling to the other for stability. Feeling a strong hand tugging at his jeans, he lifted his hips obediently and let the fabric be worked down, till he could carefully step out of them and kick them off, his designer underwear soon to follow.

The cool air against his heated skin sent shivers down HeeChul's spine, but it was nothing compared to how his body trembled as he felt rough denim being pressed against his bare skin. It almost hurt, but it felt so good- if he didn't know that there were better things to come, he might have let it remain there. His hand moved to Jay's chest, pushing him away gently, and he heard the man growl against his skin, refusing to be moved so easily. Taking a deep breath, HeeChul pushed harder, and the younger man finally gave way, allowing HeeChul to push him against the wall now instead. He remained dominant though, clutching at HeeChul in a possessive manner, even as his elder began to work down his jeans as well, boxers catching on the material and coming down as well. He was by far too aroused to feel shame at this point, and he let the other reveal his flushed skin, his thick arousal, hot and heavy and waiting for attention. HeeChul groaned at the sight of it, and he wasted no time in lowering to his knees, long, thin fingers wrapping around the hardened flesh.

Though he was slightly intimidated by its girth, HeeChul leaned forward, tilting his head so that he could run his hot tongue along the vein that ran along the bottom of the thick length, and he absolutely moaned in delight at the taste, and how it stiffened further in his hand. Full lips closed around the head, tongue laving over it, before slowly taking in inch after inch. What he couldn't fit in fear of gagging himself, his hand began to pump, head bobbing as he worked Jay's cock into full hardness, coating it with his saliva as a makeshift lubricant. He knew they didn't have anything better, and he made a mental note to invest in some at some later point, because he was sure that after this, he would need Jay again.

Jay's fingers ran through HeeChul's hair, stroking almost lovingly, before tightening in the silky strands. HeeChul seemed to know just where to press his tongue, just where to linger to pull a moan from deep within his throat, and cause his hips to lift, pressing further into the other's mouth. His eyes snapped open as he felt that hot wetness retreating, and he looked down to witness the older man pulling back. He groaned at the sight of those pretty lips stretched around his cock, and he tugged on HeeChul's hair, not wanting to finish so soon. HeeChul seemed to know exactly what was going on, because he soon stood, lifting his hand to his own mouth. He sucked suggestively on the digits, much as he had just been working on Jay's penis, and once they were slick and wet with his saliva, he brought them down between his legs, pushing a finger inside of himself.

Jay watched in interest as HeeChul prepared himself, his eyes darkening with lust, wanting to just thrust inside that tight heat right then. The sounds that HeeChul made were just remarkable to him; soft mewls as his hips lifted, pressing against his own hand as he slid a second finger in, hips rocking as he murmured the other's name. "Fuck... Fuck me, Jay," he groaned as Jay's hands began to run across his chest once again, rough thumbs brushing over his nipples. He arched into the touch, and with his free hand, he caught the back of Jay's neck, pulling him in for another hot kiss. He shivered as he pulled his fingers out of himself, and Jay was the one to break the kiss so that he could press HeeChul into the wall again, reversing their positions for the second time.

Strong hands slid beneath HeeChul, grasping his thighs and lifting him, pressing him against the wall and pinning him there. HeeChul was quick to wrap his slender legs about the other's waist, arms coming over his shoulders and about his neck, steadying them. "Need you inside of me, Jay," he murmured, leaning in to nip at the other's lower lip. "Now- do it." Those words were all Jay needed to press his cock against the other's entrance, using a hand to guide, the other keeping HeeChul supported. He paused there, dark eyes searching out the other's.

"Do you love me, HeeChul?" Jay murmured, and the words seemed to catch the older man by surprise, his eyes widening.

"W-What?" HeeChul breathed, clutching onto the other man, poised for penetration.

"Do you love me?" Jay repeated, pressing his hips forward just a little, the head of his arousal sinking into the other's body teasingly. HeeChul would've almost thought that he was joking, if not for the intensity in his eyes, the firmness in his features. HeeChul was silent for a long moment, heart pounding, till he finally spoke, feeling as if he would go mad if he had to wait another second.

"Y-Yes," he stuttered out. "God, yes, I love you!" He pressed his hips against Jay's insistently, and a moment later, he felt that thick flesh being forced into his body, his entrance giving way to the strong, slow thrust. He gasped in pain, in pleasure, and he was about to throw his head back when Jay covered his lips with his own. His lips parted immediately, meeting the other's tongue and kissing him with an almost overwhelming passion. He was thankful for that moment's stillness, the other seeming to know that he was in pain, and it was a tender moment for him. He could feel Jay shivering against him, body aching to just pull back and thrust inside once again, and he knew the effort Jay was putting forth in keeping himself under control. Finally, he rocked his hips against his newfound lover's, giving him the signal to continue.

Slowly Jay pulled out till just the tip of his arousal was embedded within the other man, and then he gave a song thrust, burying himself deep within him once again, stretching him. He more felt than heard HeeChul's gasp of pain, a moan of pleasure dripping from his own lips at the same moment. HeeChul was so tight, so hot, his body gripping him perfectly, so fucking perfectly that he knew it had to be sinful. A rhythm was soon established, long, deep thrusts that left them both panting, both murmuring and moaning out expressions of pleasure. HeeChul mewled as his hips bent and snapped to meet every thrust into him, shuddering with pleasure as that spot deep inside of him was struck. His sharp nails dug into the other man's shoulders, leaving reddened crescents behind, but he couldn't be bothered to stop. And as Jay's hand wrapped about his cock, he was completely lost in pleasure, gasping and moaning and throwing his head back, exposing his throat to more of Jay's hot, open-mouthed kisses.

"Tell me you love me," Jay panted out against the other's skin, nipping sharply at HeeChul's collarbone.

"I love you, Jay... Need you... Only you..." HeeChul replied breathlessly, clinging to the other more tightly. His answer seemed to satisfy Jay, as the younger man began to thrust harder into him, gripping his cock a bit more tightly and jerking it in the same rhythm as their bodies. Jay released as moan as his lover's body tightened around him, clenching him so tight it almost hurt, and a beautiful moan lingered in his ears as he felt a hot slickness soaking between his fingers, soiling his abdomen. He pulled HeeChul down against him one last time before he gave into that point of ecstasy, releasing his seed deep inside of the other man.

HeeChul squirmed slightly, gasping as he felt it, felt it warming his insides. He'd never felt anything so dirty, yet so pure at the same time, and he loved it, and knew that he would crave more of it. He winced as Jay pulled out of him, carefully lowering him to the ground as he kissed him gently. "That was amazing," he murmured against HeeChul's lips, and the older man's lips quirked up in the corners into a soft, tired smile. Humming in agreement, HeeChul began to reach for his clothes, and once dressed, the two exited the room together, neither man seeming to notice the small, blinking red light on the other side of the glass.

*fapfapfap*

The Trax Super Junior Fanfic

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 20:33:59 GMT

"Anything and Everything." Part 1
Feat. Jay Kim/Typhoon (The Trax) x HeeChul/Cinderella (Super Junior)
PG for a meanie HeeChul? R-NC17 in Part 2.
Disclaimer: Don't know them, don't own them, and not making money off of this. Written just for fun~
Notes: I. Love. TyChul. Like you wouldn't even BELIEVE. They totally set themselves up for the pairing, what with Jay calling HeeChul his girlfriend, with Jay and HeeChul sharing a bed for 3-4 years... WITH JAY FRICKEN BATHING HEECHUL WTF. Yeah. Love. And- I apologize for the really shiesty ending. I just wasn't sure of how to cut this part off, but I promise, the second part will be better!

HeeChul couldn't help but be reminded of railroad spikes; thick, rusted iron nails that were being pounded further into his damaged heart as he watched his friend flirt unabashedly with a pretty girl. She would smile, he would smile, she would touch his arm, and they would both lean in a little closer, making their conversation all the more intimate, and all the more painful to HeeChul. In his jealousy, he silently cursed her, her pretty face, her curves, and mostly- her chest. He had a pretty face, his body was delicate and rather feminine, but a chest was what he was lacking, and would always lack. Finally, he forced himself to turn away, unable to handle any more of their flirtatious antics; it was making him sick.

Not much later, he felt a large hand cup his shoulder, and he knew the touch immediately, so he didn't bother to turn to see who it was. "You seem upset..." that deep, familiar voice murmured into his ear. It was a sound that made him shiver every time, whether singing or speaking. He tried to play that small shudder off with a shrug.

"I'm just bored. Can we go home now, Jay?" He looked over his shoulder, only to see his friend looking away at the girl he had been talking to earlier. It infuriated him, and setting his jaw, he gestured over at the girl. "Aish, what an ugly girl!" he exclaimed. "She looks like a dog! Why does she have to stare over here?" His gaze met hers, and sure enough she was quick to turn away, cheeks flushed in embarassment. Jay's eyes shifted down to him, curious, as well as slightly irritated.

"HeeChul, that was very rude," he reprimanded softly; very rarely did he have the heart to actually speak against his old friend.

"She was very rude, for coming out into public without putting a paper bag over her head first," HeeChul replied simply. This caused Jay to pull away, shaking his head with a sigh of defeat.

"That's enough, let's just go." And to HeeChul's pleasure, he was soon following Jay out of the party, linking his thin arm with the other's much stronger one. His eyes flickered up at the younger man's face for just a moment, and he felt a wave of guilt wash over him. It was always like this; Jay would find a pretty girl, and then HeeChul would do his best to ruin the blossoming relationship with a few cold words and an icey glare. He felt bad for purposely sabotaging his friend's attempts at a love life, but he was selfish, and he didn't want Jay to love anyone other than himself, no matter how hopeless that seemed.

An awkward silence reigned over the two men during the ride home, carrying with it a sort of coldness that soaked right through the thick sweater and coat HeeChul wore, only to touch his heart. 'I truly am an awful person, aren't I?' he thought, his gaze lifting up past the trees that flew by to the moon. How could he consider himself a friend, when all he did was ruin things for Jay out of his own selfishness? He hardly noticed as the car slowed to a stop, lost in the scratchiness of his throat, and the burning in the corners of his eyes.

"You're home now, HeeChul."

HeeChul's eyes widened, and he reached up quickly to wipe at his eyes. He didn't want the other to see any trace of his momentary weakness, because he couldn't deal with the shame that came with admitting that he WASN'T invincible, despite how much he'd like to think he was. Finally, he turned to face Jay, offering him a forced smile. "Thanks for the ride, Jay. You're-" he paused,biting at his lower lip. "You're a great friend." HeeChul watched as Jay's lips curled into a warm smile, and the man reached forward, placing a hand in the soft strands of HeeChul's hair.

"Anything for you, HeeChul," he said softly, speaking in that low, deep octive that never failed to send shivers crawling down HeeChul's spine. The smile slowly melted from the older man's lips, and he looked away, shaking his head.

"Don't say that, Jay. Not unless you absolutely mean it..." HeeChul spoke so quietly, Jay had to lean in to hear the soft words, and as they registered in his mind, a thick brow rose in apparent confusion. He was puzzled as to why HeeChul would say such a thing; had he proven himself to be an unfaithful friend at some point? He was about to question him, when the beautiful man turned to him, and moments later, a gentle hand was cupping his smooth cheek. Jay's dark eyes widened in surprise as HeeChul's lashes lowered, and leaning in, his plush lips brushed the younger man's feather-lightly. After a moment, HeeChul pulled away, gazing deep into Jay's eyes. "Anything- everything, for you, Jay," he breathed, his hand groping for the door handle, and once his fingers had curled around it, he was quick to push it open.

Jay could only sit there, eyes wide in surprise as HeeChul freed himself of his seatbelt and climbed out of the car, hurrying out towards the house that he shared with his numerous bandmates. Suddenly, Jay was pushing open the door, unhooking his seatbelt so that he could stand by the car, hand braced on the door. He didn't know what made him do it, but he watched as HeeChul reached the door, and he lifted a hand to his lips idly. Could he give a man everything? His thoughts froze momentarily as HeeChul glanced over his shoulder at him, illuminated by the soft glow of the porch light, and after a long moment, he climbed back into his car. The scent of HeeChul's cologne still lingered in the vehicle, and he inhaled deeply, leaning back into his seat.

Could he give HeeChul everything?

To be continued...

Super Junior Fanfic

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 22:46:11 GMT

"The Warmth Winter Brings"
Feat. KiTeuk - with a guest appearance from HeeChul and DongHae
PG - NC-17 (yum, vague seckz :D')
Disclaimer: I'd do 'em. They're not mine, though. ;_;
Split this into three parts for... selective... reading. The first two are PG, the last is NC-17. If you don't like HOMGKIBUMEETEUKSECKZ, you can just skip over that last bit and pretend it's some regular fluffiness, if you'd like~ There's very little plot to this. Like- not even a little. I'm not gonna lie, I just wanted some KiTeuk sex.

With a bright laugh DongHae fell to the ground, HeeChul soon to follow him as glittering white powder was sent into the air around them. "Yah!" EeTeuk heard the younger male exclaim, his voice full of mirth. "Get off me, Hyung! You're heavy!" A smile tugged at the leader's lips as he watched the two other members begin to wrestle, the older of the two whining about how he was certainly not heavy while he attempted to pin DongHae to the ground. The snow clung to their clothing, to their hair, but quickly melted away in the heat of their playfulness. It was an endearing scene to behold, and it brought a certain warmth to EeTeuk's heart. A gentle touch to his hip startled the eldest man from his reverie, hair whipping as his head turned to see who it was that had intruded upon his private thoughts.

"They're like children, aren't they?" came the smooth, familiar voice of KiBum, and looking up at him, EeTeuk smiled softly.

"You can be the same way from time to time, KiBumie," he replied, leaning into that comforting warmth that the other man gave off. His smile widened, cheek dimpling sweetly as KiBum looked away sheepishly.

"Yes, well-" But any explanation he was to give was abruptly cut off as the two of them were suddenly lost in a cloud of white, the sudden force of the wave knocking them over onto the ground, sinking into the thick snow. Before them stood a mischevious looking HeeChul, DongHae by his side, smiling with the well-played innocence of a young child. EeTeuk wanted to scold them, because it was deffinitely inappropriate to bombard innocent bystanders with snow, especially when he was one of said innocent bystanders, but he couldn't bring himself to kill that playful, joyous air that they had summoned up for today's romp out in the snow. His momentary frown slowly gave way to a mischevious smile as his hands cupped in the snow, packing what was in his palms into vaguely spherical shapes, till all at once he leapt up. With a cry of laughter DongHae and HeeChul scrambled to evade their leader's attack, but with a dull thud, the one of the snowballs met their target, leaving behind a powdery patch on DongHae's shoulder. Taking the moment to turn to KiBum, EeTeuk held out a hand to him.

"We can't just let them get away, can we?" He asked the younger singer, his bright grin and reddened cheeks a welcoming sight. Shaking his head, KiBum took his hand, returning that smile as he got to his feet. Turning in the direction the two others had scampered off in, he cupped a hand around his mouth, shouting at them.

"You guys are gonna pay for that!" EeTeuk took a moment to glance at the other, taking in that look of child-like playfulness that had graced KiBum's sweet features, and he felt his heart swell with warmth. Keeping their hands linked, he turned towards their opponents as well. Together they ran, laughing as they kicked up the snow around them and charged towards their bandmates, whom were both ready with handfulls of snow.

KiBum watched as a warm smile came to grace EeTeuk's lips, carrying two steaming mugs of tea in his hands for himself and his hyung. They had since changed out of their snow-sodden clothing, and in an attempt to chase away the chill that lingered on their bodies, KiBum had prepared the hot beverages for the two of them. The rest of their bandmates had scampered off somewhere, doing things that KiBum was sure he would be better off not knowing, but he wasn't about to complain. It was nice, having the house quiet for a change. Gracefully, he settled onto the couch beside EeTeuk, handing him his mug, which the man wrapped his long fingers around immediately and admired the warmth that soothed the frozen digits. Raising it to his lips, EeTeuk inhaled deeply, almost able to taste the bittersweet flavor already. He looked over the mug, through the steam, and his eyes said all that he wanted to.

KiBum nodded slightly in response, his own way of saying- 'You're welcome.' In silence they both sipped at the murky water, ignoring the slight burn of their tongues, because they needed the warmth desperately. He could feel the heat of the leader's body radiating against his thigh, where they were juuuuuust brushing against each other. EeTeuk seemed to feel that warmth as well, because carefully he shifted, wriggling on the plush couch cushion till he was pressed up against the other's side. There was nothing shameful about the act, nothing shameful about indulging in a close friend's warmth. There was shame in KiBum's mind though, as his thoughts wandereds to areas less innocent, pondering upon whether or not the rest of the leader's body was as warm as the relatively small area that contoured to his own side. He heard a soft sigh from beside him, and he felt the weight of the other's head resting against his shoulder comfortably.

"I'm exhausted from all of that running around..." EeTeuk commented, carefully sipping at his tea once again. KiBum smiled softly, tilting his head against the other's.

"Perhaps you're getting too old for so much excitement," KiBum offered playfully, and the leader sat up, frowning at the other. He wasn't truly upset- that much was obvious in his dark, glittering eyes.

"Yah! I am not that much older than you, Kim KiBum! And I can keep up with you just fine." Pouting, he lowered his head towards his mug, taking another deep sip. Chuckling, the younger male gently touched his shoulder.

"Can you, Jungsu?" He asked, amusement curling the corners of his lips.

III

True to his words, EeTeuk was keeping up with KiBum quite well. When exactly the gentle teasing had turned into this- this raw, hot, passionate search for release, neither knew- the kisses just came naturally to them, touches following soon after. The elder man's body arched and snapped erotically above KiBum's, soft mewls half-muted by the clamping of his teeth on his lower lip- it certainly wouldn't do to be caught in such a situation. Thrusting up into the leader's willing body, KiBum found the answer to the questioning that had been plaguing his mind earlier. Eeteuk's body was hot, hotter when it was skin to skin, and even hotter when wrapped about KiBum's arousal.

Blunt nails dug into KiBum's shoulders, EeTeuk trying desperately to steady his shaking body, a beautiful contrast to KiBum's soothing, wandering hand that smoothed over his hyung's back. He was fighting desperately to keep his eyes open, wanting to witness the pleasure the other was reaping from above him, from the hand he had wrapped about his flesh. He was most beautiful like this, leader-like poise lost in the moment, giving in to the heat that consumed them. Any lingering chill had long since been scalded away, their bodies against each other hot, too hot, impossibly feverish.Though they both fought to keep the moment alive, that ecstatic pleasure washed over them in waves, leaving them panting against each other, unable to move for several long moments.

For many hours after they laid together there, the biting cold of winter unable to permeate the cocoon of warmth they had established in KiBum's bed, bodies intertwined beneath the thick blankets. Listening to the playful shouts of his bandmates coming from outside, muffled by the glass of the window, EeTeuk let his head rest upon the other's chest, smiling to himself. That smile widened as he saw a snowball fly past the window, and he snuggled closer to KiBum, thankful for the warmth his new lover's body offered him. He just felt bad for whomever it was that was suffering from HeeChul and DongHae's latest attack.

Just so everyone knows, I hate indenting on LJ, because it likes to not work for me. D< Deal with big spaces plzkthnx

Super Junior

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 22:41:20 GMT

Title: So Foreign To You
Rating: PG - angst and fluff
Pairing: SiHan- SiWon and HanKyung
Disclaimer: They belong to themselves, and essentially, to SM. I wouldn't mind havin' a chinaman of my own though :D'
Author's notes: I really hate this. I felt like I was writing an essay, and I hated how it turned out. I'm posting it anyway, just because I can, and maybe some people will like it XD' I was supposed to write this AGES ago for kyuppuccino, but I was struck with one hardcore case of writer's block. Definitely no fun. So I'm sorry for the wait, and I'm sorry for... how bad it is, hah. But I hope some people can enjoy this at least a little.

Sometimes, it was very hard for HanKyung. His Korean was far from perfect, and he often stumbled over his words, leading to nearly endless jests from those who were supposed to be his close friends. He cared for them all very much, but he could never shake the feeling that something was separating him from them, alienating him, and it made him feel as if he would never be as close with his bandmates as they were with each other. It was because he was different, he spoke a different tongue than they did, came from a different culture and country than that did. More often than not, he could ignore these feelings, push them aside with a smile and fool about with his bandmates; and during those moments, he truly felt like a member of Super Junior.

HeeChul's jokes had gone too far this time, though. A curse unintelligible to the others in the room fell from HanKyung's lips, and with a pained look in his eyes, the chinese man rose from his seat at the table, heading for the nearest safe haven. The group jolted slightly as they heard a door slam, and it was a long moment before they looked about at each other, an uncomfortable silence hanging over them. HeeChul opened his mouth to say something, perhaps to say that he hadn't meant it, but even he, so bold with his words, and been struck mute. His pretty head bowed, black bangs falling into his eyes, and he reached out to toy with the food that was sitting on the table before him. SiWon was the first to speak, the sound of his deep voice almost startling in contrast to the thick silence.
"I'll go talk to him..."

HanKyung knew inside that HeeChul was only playing around. His hyung didn't truly mean it when he made fun of him, of his accent, of his inability to work out the korean words in a way that properly expressed what he wanted to say. Never before had he gotten so worked up over HeeChul's teasing, but for some reason, the words struck him particularly hard in his already unsure heart this evening. Tears of spite welled up in his eyes, clinging to his short eyelashes, and he lowered his head in shame. His hand tightened its hold on the wooden ledge of the windowsill, the other raking through the short, silken caramel strands of his hair. He didn't hear the door open, nor did he hear the soft padding of socked feet. A shock ran down his spine as he felt a gentle warm against his side, and he looked down to see a familiar hand there. Settling slightly, he released the windowsill and immediately moved his hand to brush over his eyes, making sure that there were no lingering tears.

"Are you okay, Hannie?" That warm voice came in a tongue that was so familiar to him, smooth like cream and more soothing than HanKyung could have imagined. He nodded slightly, and though he was unsure of whether or not he would be able to get his tongue to work properly, he tried to reply anyway.

"I'm fine, SiWon... I'm-" Upset. Distraught. Alienated. Alone? The younger man didn't say anything at first, though it was obvious that he didn't believe HanKyung by how his arm slid around him, his face pressing into his soft hair.

"He didn't mean it, Hannie." That voice came again, and HanKyung took it straight to his heart, letting it linger and sink in. He felt his hurt being smoothed away just like that, so easily he almost couldn't believe it- and were it anyone else, he surely wouldn't believe it. He leaned back into the warmth the other man offered, his hand covering the one which was splayed upon his abdomen.

"I know..." And there was no insecurity in his voice this time.

"And you know that we all love you..." SiWon's warm breath ghosted across the top of his ear, sending a soft shiver down his spine.

"I know..." SiWon tilted his head, now speaking directly into his elder's ear, that warm moistness washing over HanKyung and sinking in; though not nearly as far as his words did.

"And you know that I love you..." HanKyung couldn't bring himself to reply, his vocal chords pressed silent by the deep meaning in those words. He turned his head, looking over his shoulder at SiWon, lashes lowered as he surveyed him. And with a slight nod, he leaned in, their lips brushing across each other in an almost feather-soft kiss. His fingers curled about SiWon's hand, his hold tightening into a warm embrace; he knew.